You Must Be Present to Win

Been Here, Done That!

On March 5, 1999, a Friday, I go into the main office of Performa Solutions in Houston. It is an ordinary day, but it didn’t feel right. There was this ever-familiar ominous feeling in the air, yet a calmness about me. I know this tension and awkwardness; I have been here before.

I was hired as a full-time facilitator at Performa Solutions in 1996 after they had secured a very large culture integration project with Transco. I had done some contractual work for them prior. Well, that Transco project had been completed in late 1998 and there wasn’t anything of that scale on the horizon thus the future of the business was uncertain.

Cue the intense music…as I get asked to join the leaders in the President’s office.

When I mentioned that I had been here before and it was an ever-familiar ominous feeling, I wasn’t exaggerating. I had been laid off 9 times prior. I spent the early part of my career working in for-profit psychiatric hospitals. I would get laid off temporarily when the census went down (5 times for a week or two because somehow my salary was going to save us) and permanently when the hospitals would close (did that twice). I can smell layoffs coming and sensed that smell growing stronger over the past few months at my job once again.

I finished two more weeks of work as an employee before they transitioned me to a contractor again. This left me doing the job assigned to me instead of the work I wanted to do.

I had already been booked to attend the Association for Experiential Education Mid-South Regional Conference in Mississippi the next month and since it was all paid for, they agreed to let me attend. I had no idea how this event would change the entire trajectory of my life!

Two Needs and Two Dolphins

On April 8, 1999, I embarked on a sailing trip off the coast of Mississippi. This was the pre-conference event for the AEE Mid-South Conference. It was entitled, You Must Be Present to Win. I attended with one of my dearest friends Jana.

Our sailing destination was an undeveloped island (truly a giant sand bar) in the Gulf of Mexico where we would spend the night (about as rustic as camping gets). As we sailed and later at the campfire that night, we discussed what it means to be “present” and what is it that you “win” by being so.

A little side story:

As we were sailing, two dolphins approached the boat. I could tell they were curious about us but didn’t have a desire to interact. They swam up, looked at us on the boat, and left. I grabbed the binoculars and searched the horizon in the direction they swam. Sure enough, there was the pod in a circle, a birthing circle. The two dolphins were scouts who came to see if we were going to interfere with the birth. We were in no position to tack back to see it any closer, nor would I have ever allowed that. Still, wow!

What I discovered in being fully present in those conversations was that I had two needs.

1.       Break out of the box. I needed to control my work, learn, practice, and grow the way I wanted to. I had been pigeonholed at Performa in only getting certain projects. It was time to go out on my own. But how?

2.       Importance of Family. I needed to be closer to home. My parents were aging and about to retire. But more importantly, my niece Shelby was 2 and her sister Caitlin was on the way. I wanted to be a positive influence in their lives and 1000 miles away was not going to work.

The Plan

What emerged was the plan to move back to Council Bluffs and open my own firm to do the work I wanted, to help people work better together. I knew nothing about owning a business and not a soul in the Omaha Metro but family. Yet, this plan felt so right, so perfect, I had no doubts.

Three weeks later I was in Council Bluffs. “Shit or get off the pot” right? I do not dally when I know I have the right answer.

Not everyone was quite as confident and sure of my plan as I was. When I enthusiastically shared my plan with one of my mentors at the time, he said I was moving too quickly and not thinking rationally. I fired him. Help or get out of the way!

I flew my brother down to help me load the Ryder truck and tow my pickup to Iowa. The whole way, he questioned my decision. Here’s the exchange:

                Russ: “Your whole career has been in Texas.”

                Me: “Yep, time for a change.”

                Russ: “You don’t have a job in Iowa.”

                Me: “Yes I do, I own a business.”

                Russ: “You don’t have any clients.”

                Me: “Because I am not there yet, drive faster!”

Every year on May 7th, he is one of the first to congratulate me and tell me how proud he is of me for having the “guts” to venture into the unknown with such confidence.

I also had tremendous supporters. My friends in Texas, Jana, Diane, D’, and Kelli, whom I know were sad to see me leave Texas (and so was I), but they encouraged me to follow my dream. My parents, who never once tried to talk me out of it, just asked how they could help. Of course, their enthusiastic support could have, in part, been because I was moving home. And then there was my Aunt Wilda, who let me do laundry at her house and take me to dinner and beer on Friday nights.  

My other mentor, Bill McQuillan, the Shell Learning Center Director, pushed me to do this. He and I were doing a lot of work together and I was learning so much from him about organization development, communication, and leadership. He recommended a bunch of books and wrote one of the best letters of recommendation I have ever received.  Side note: Speaking of books, check out the top 25 books that impacted me.

Do the Fun Stuff First

I arrived in Council Bluffs on May 2, 1999. I spent the week unpacking and trying to figure out how the hell you start a business. I, of course, began with the fun stuff…what to name my new business. I searched the thesaurus and mythology (unfortunately Nike was taken), and nothing was grabbing me. I wanted a unique name that meant what it was I was being called to do, help people work better together. I took a break and did some more unpacking.

It hit me while I was hanging pictures of all things. I have a lot of pictures of dolphins, but my favorite was a Daniel McCulloch photo of two dolphins jumping in yin yang. As I hung it, there it was, the name of my company as the picture's title in 2-inch letters…SYNCHRONICITY. That picture still hangs in my office today.

I ran to my office to check the internet to see if Synchronicity was taken. It is such a cool name somebody had to have thought of it! I sat down and there was a stack of books (the ones Bill gave me) I hadn’t yet put on shelves. On top was a book by Joseph Jaworski called, Synchronicity, the Inner Path of Leadership. I can’t make this stuff up! It was, well, synchronicity! As I scoured the internet, the Secretary of State’s site, and the US Trademark sites, there was nothing. No one in my industry had this name. You have got to be kidding me!

The next day, May 7, 1999, I registered Synchronicity Training and Development as my business name. I then knew what it meant to be present and what you win when you are. I won!

Pearls of Wisdom

·         There is a Jimmy Buffett song line where he says, “Learn to trust your intuition, plowin’ straight ahead come what may.” TRUST your gut! You know what’s right for you. Plow ahead even if it is out of the box and kind of scary.

·         Be present so you can win! Put into the universe what you want, stay open to the signs, and jump on it when it shows itself!

·         Surround yourself with people who support you, not tell you what you want to hear, but will encourage you and stand by you when it is difficult. Let the naysayers go!

·         Always do the fun stuff first, it builds momentum!

·         Synchronicity is real!